voice of truth

Does it ever seem like you can never get anything right? I am finding this with my relationship with God. I'm going along...trusting him...letting him hold me...and then...I don't know what happens. So often I am struggling with giving up things to him. I like to be in control, I like to know what is comming. The unknown scares me and sometimes it feels as though if I am in control the future can't hurt me. Even though my logic is so off it isn't funny...that way of thinking comforts me in some small, minut way. This summer I made a commit me to "on belay Jesus." Uhhh yah...not doing so well. I need to just let go...but it isn't a "just" sort of move. It is saying, "OK God...you have me...Anything that comes at me I will let you deal with...You have total...100% control of my life...I will let go of this rope and trust in you and your plans for my life...And sometime I will want to take hold of my life again and tell you that you are moving to fast or to slow...But I won't because I trust you." Arrrrggghhh. It's just so frusterating!!!! k I think a lot of is the world around me saying do this...wear that...say this...whatever. And so many times I buy into this fasod of superficiality. When all I should be doing is listening to God and what he wants me to do. I don't have to settle. I don't have to change who I am for people to like me and accept me. Things will happen when God's alarm goes off. He knows what I am going to do in 5 minutes, 3 hours, tomorrow, next week, next year. I just have to listen to him and trust that whatever he has in plan will work to a perfect tune of his song for my life.