late night convictions

Why is it that God speaks to me right when I am about to go to bed...So it's 2 am...and I am having an internal struggle. Things in my life just haven't been right...insecurities, negativity, and someone that I don't know or like has just taken over my life. I hate her. This is not the girl that knelt before the cross this summer and said "on belay Jesus". You know what happened? The music and TV I watch took over. You would think that music and TV wouldn't be a problem for a 'strong' Christian like me right? OH but it is. How could I let this happen? I want to live a holy life...how is listening to the Killers, Foo Fighters, and Maroon 5 helping me down that path. I will admit...I hardly ever listen to Christian music anymore. That may not be a huge issue with some of you...I didn't think it was with me...but apparently it is. It is amazing that music can turn your life upside down. So what did I just do...deleated all my secular music. Yes, some of you may think that this is quite a drastic move to take...but its the right move for me. I just sat on my bed...hearing God ask me..."Kaitlin, if I came and visited you...would you want to be listening to that when I walked through the door?" ...how ashamed I am. And you know what the funny thing is...I just bought a new CD today. The OC soundtrack. More secular music. That one I really struggled with. But when I got down here...because I really felt God saying..."Why don't you go look up the lyrics on that new CD of yours." And I will admit..nothing was that bad. But did it glorify God...no. I pray that everyday that my actions will bring glory to Christ...how I wasn't seeing the obvious. Oh, and along with the music...I am cutting out a lot of TV...That 70's Show, Seinfeld, Malcom in the Middle, The OC and the Gilmore Girls. Those last 2 are going to be such a struggle for me. I love those shows. But I can't watch them. I have to glorify God...I want to live a holy life. 1 Peter 1:8 (I think) says "be holy because I am holy." If Jesus can be crucified on a cross and die for me...why can't I give up some music and TV shows? I know this is going to be a struggle for me. I still don't know what to do with the new CD I got. I think I am going to do the same thing that I did the last time I had this problem. Ask my mom to put it away until I am ready for it again. And maybe when that time comes...if it comes...and I start to slip, I will see the signs before I get this low. Please pray for me. This is truly going to be a struggle for me because we watch the Gilmore Girls and the OC every week at school. And to not get sucked in will be sooooo hard. And to not listen to music that doesn't glorify God will be hard because that it is the stuff that drags me down is what everyone listens too. Oh, and if anyone has any music suggestions for me that is Christian music...let me know. I would love to hear it. And you know what is the best thing about all of this...I opened Jukebox and do you know who I clicked on...Jermey Camp...all of his songs have to do exactly with this right now..."My Desire" and "Letting Go". They make me want to cry. But, I want to bring glory to God...and I will pay the price and resist the temptation. He is so amazing. I will put this picture up to remind all of us what we did this summer.